Haiku T-shirt


Just a suggestion.

What I did for my spring vacation

I bet you guys are wondering how my vacation in Michigan is going. Well, for one thing, I jumped off a moving swing for the first time in about twenty years. I didn't even hurt myself and out jumped an eight-year-old. Pretty good form, eh?

The Amazing Petitions of Wonderfullness

Mr. Mack's Portrait in Classrooms:

Who a better role model? Whose a more handsome face? Indeed, who but Mr. Majchrowicz is admired so by students and faculty alike? Our school, though quite excellent, is in need of an incentive to study hard, and this is the man for the job. Of course, we cannot waste Mr. Mack's precious time by taking him from his classes, so the student council has come up with a solution. They have decided the best course of action is to produce a well-done portrait of him for every classroom to hang above its board. These visions of magnificence would be accompanied by one of his many inspirational quotes. How much more incentive do you need to do what is right? Sign here if you agree and want to help carry out this plan.

(For the love of god, don't actually do it! The man already has too much support. I need to crush him. Now, you're more than welcome to print out the below and post it on every available space. :D)

School-wide Propaganda Plot:

Is it not true that history repeats itself? I'm sure everyone remembers the "Sanders" fiasco of school year 06/07. Sanders was a military psycho who subjected all us students to hideous uniforms and grueling hard labor. Now a new threat has risen, in the seemingly innocent seventh grade LA teacher, Mr. Majchrowicz. Oh, yes, he seems quite charming,but he has now uncovered his sinister scheme to my third block class. We all saw him for what he is and were very distressed. He aims to replicate an old method of former Chinese Chairman Mao Zedong. What method, you ask? One of tyranny. Of communism. Mr. "Mack's" sordid plan is this: to put an image of his own face in a place prominence in every classroom, accompanied by a corruptive quote to plant in the students' minds. Our naive and unblemished children do not deserve this. This man's more than questionable role models say clearly his intentions-- to take over AG middle with awful, communism-esque ideology! Nip it in the bud, the saying goes. We must rally together to stop this infant tyrant. Please sign here:

'Cause communism's evil! An update: we have a new word in the dictionary nowadays.

Mackism (n)- the complete and utter rule of Mr. Mack over room 206. Not to mention the "Mr. Mack is the best" posters. The man is MAD. He's snapped. (Or he has too much time on his hands.)

Anyway, I'll post my Spring Break and morbid death poems later. All who mock them will suffer a very morbid death themselves. Blah.

Meeting this week

Hey guys, I sent an email out a few days ago that informed you that we are meeting this Thursday instead of our usual fourth Thursday of the month. That is this Thursday, the 19th of April. That is just about exactly 48 hours from the time I am currently typing this message. There will be a special door prize given to the first 15 teen writers that come through the door. I haven't decided if the twelve year old get a prize yet or not.

So it goes...

I'm sure everyone has seen that Kurt Vonnegut died today. I figured I should be mentioned him because this wouldn't be much of a writers group blog if we didn't acknowledge the passing of one of the great writers and thinkers of the last fifty years.

One of the best experiences of my life was sitting in the audience at Spirit Square for about an hour listening to Kurt Vonnegut speak. This happened back in the early 90's before some of you were even born. I remember telling my friends afterwards that I felt I had sat in the presence of a truly wise person for the first time in my life. A remark that probably would have given him fits of laughter since to him man was anything but a wise animal.

Peeps! Peeps! Peeps!

OK, this has nothing to do with writing but how can I resist linking to a contest for dioramas with peeps? How could I not link to that? How?

China Mieville

Hey guys, if you remember I mentioned I was reading Un Lun Dun by China Mieville. I finished a few days ago and I really enjoyed it. He plays around with the whole idea of the young person having adventures in a fantasy world. If you are interested there is a nice interview with him on Youtube where he talks about this book

Sneaky little devil

I came across an entry on Metafilter a few weeks back that I wanted to share. A photographer named Bill Sullivan goes around New York City and takes surreptitious photographs of people as they go through daily life. The images show people honestly and show vulnerability. I'll call them poetic. I'd like to try that some day. In fact I already kind of do it when I can. My particular strategy is to do it from a moving car because, even though non-commercial street photography is legal, you can get beat up over it.

The Family Nietzsche

Ever wonder what would happen if you paired ranmdom Nietzsche quotes and random Family Circus cartoons? Me neither but someone has.

Here's the only thing I've written lately: my haikus! (Actually, I take that back. If you want to read the comics I've written lately, just click on this lovely link. )

In the Heart of the Sea

Whale rammed the Essex.
No food is left, it's time for
Cannibalism.

Harry Potter

Scar on my forehead.
Voldemort is quite evil.
I gotta kill him.

Ed
Who is this Ed guy?
All that really matters is,
He has a ponytail.

There ya go. I think my favorite is the Harry Potter one...

The world is your oyster

Hey guys, I sent an email out yesterday about how this blog is now being linked to from the library's webpage. If you are looking for an audience now is the time to post. I'd like to see a few haikus from the last meeting up on here. Sure, mine are awesome but let's see some of yours.

The Haikus from our exercise

OK, here's my three haikus based on the Lord of the Rings. One for each part of the trilogy.

The Fellowship of the Ring

An uncle's gold ring
a menagerie meets
I'll go on alone.

The Two Towers

"We'll fight the wizard."
"We'll enter the Dark Lord's land."
"Hey look! Walking trees!"

The Return of the King

That's one huge army...
Let's challenge a bigger one
Four fingers, no ring.

W.H. Auden on poetry

This quote from this article really caught my eye: "The girl whose boyfriend starts writing her love poems should be on her guard. Perhaps he really does love her, but one thing is certain: while he was writing his poems he was not thinking of her but of his own feelings about her and that is suspicious. Let her remember St Augustine’s confession of his feelings after the death of someone he loved very much: “I would rather have been deprived of my friend than of my grief.”"

Hey kids, this is your monthly reminder that our dodecannual writers group meeting will take place this Thursday at 6 pm. That's March 22nd at 6 pm at the Morrison Regional Library. Be sure to bring something to read whether it's yours or something you like.

Pass the paper

OK, this is the third time I have tried to write this post. Blogger!!!!

If you enjoyed the game of passing a paper around at writers night I found a website via John Scalzi that is trying to be the internets version of paper passing. You can check it out here. It's called Ficlets.

Cool book cover of the day

Never heard of the author but I likes the cover.

Free! Audio! Books!

Yes, they are free. Yes, they are in public domain and yes, they are read by volunteers. Still, free audio books.

Real?

I don't know if this is real or not but if it is, it's hysterical.

A survey by the Charlotte-Mecklenburg planning Dept

Got some opinions on how Charlotte is being developed? Tell the yokels in charge at the survey link to here.

Where is it?

Didn't someone have to versions of a poem and they were going to post both versions so we could see them?

Poking around on the blog of the Scalzi guy Ed linked to, (yes I have no life) I found this pretty interesting post entitled "10 Things Teenage Writers Should Know About Writing." I thought some people would find it interesting/useful.

Here ya go!

Accessible SF

I've read in quick succession recently two novels by an up and coming SF writer named John Scalzi. I've been reading this blog and he brought up an entry he made a while back concerning entry level SF. Specifically, SF for people that don't read science fiction. If any of you are not overwhelmed by schoolwork take a gander at his essay.

Personally I have always found good science fiction to be entry level science fiction. Every new science fiction (or fantasy) novel has to introduce readers to a new universe and a good writer should be able to do that for a long time SF reader and someone that has never picked up a SF book before. I think Cormac McCarthy's "The Road," Roth's "The Plot Against America" and Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale" all straddle that line nicely.

SF Writers who blog

I do not remember if I have posted this before but a SF website out there has a list of SF writers who have blogs.

A writer

I've read some of China Mieville's short stories and they are excellent and just weird enough that he might appeal to some of you. He is coming out with a fantasy novel for younger readers and he discusses it here. If anyone picks up the novel, reads it and loves it I hope you give me due credit.

I really like his reason for writing a book for youngsters: "I've always wanted to write a children's book. No book that I read as an adult, no matter how much I love it, has an impact on me the way books did when I was a child, and I think there's something very inspiring about that absolute fervour and abandon with which children read. It's also because the kind of fairy-tale logic I can use in a YA book I could never get away with in an adult book, so there's a real narrative freedom."

Writing Contest

Just in case one of you has a near future science fiction story concerning successful space travel in our solar system stored either in your brain or on paper or on your hard drive there is contest posted here.

Oblivious Regurgitation

Ever mentally compose a tune, only to realize later on that you're just repeating something that you've already heard? Happens to me every once in a while.

I just realized that one piece of writing I came up with at a meeting, thinking that it was original, was almost an exact quote from somewhere else.

Damn you, xkcd, damn you!

---

(Whee, blogger is letting me post again!)

Internet Goodness

Click on the open spaces of this test and when you are finished the website will display where you clicked and where everyone else clicked.

Way advanced purchase

I bet all you Harry Potter maniacs will be very interested in seeing what the current biggest selling book on Amazon.

If you want to get on the library's hold list you better do it now. It's already pushing 200.

What kind of reader are you?

I am a dedicated reader.

Q and A with the Chicago Manual of Style

This may be the nerdiest thing I have ever posted here and I've posted some pretty nerdy stuff.

Found this link via Robert Sawyer's website.

High dollar SF books

Check this out. The used and rare book website Abebooks has published a list of the highest priced science fiction books sold in 2006 through their site. Big Bucks.

Next Meeting

OK gang, next Thursday the 25th of January will the be the next meeting of the Writers Club. This week, please be sure to bring something to read. Bring something that you wrote or something someone else wrote. You can read anything from Zelazny to the Book of Amos or something your grandmother wrote back in finishing school. I want to emphasize my desire for everyone to bring something to read. We haven't had a lot of original writing recently so I would very much like to see you, at the very least, bring in a piece of writing that you love and would like to share with the room.

Catch a Glimpse

Hey look! A picture of Harper Lee! I don't like it when stories like this call her "reclusive." I do not believe Harper Lee is reclusive. I think she is more like Sandy Koufax and just wants to be left alone by reporters. Why does that have to mean reclusive in our world? Imagine, someone not chasing celebrity. What an oddball.

Has everyone here read "To Kill a Mockingbird?" I didn't read it until I was in my early 30's and it's definitely a book that I will read again. Everyone should read it once. It will stay with you forever.

Something every collector needs

A fragment of Edgar Allan Poe's casket

A Giant Buddha

Is it possible for a giant Buddha to calm raging waters?

I didn't know this...

The Cowardly Lion costume in The Wizard of Oz was made from real lion pelts.

For those who are interested, I got a scanner for Christmas so The Mediocres is updating again. There was an update on Christmas and will be one tomorrow. Then it will return to the normal Tues/Thurs update schedule.

Also, Ed, thank for the offer of the use of the library's scanner. I'm sorry I never got over there to use it when I said I would.

Anyone who has never read The Mediocres and would like to start, Ed has very kindly put a link to the site on the side of this page. Have fun.

To everyone: Don't forget about the meeting tomorrow!

I was just wondering if anyone else was planning on bringing refreshments to the December meeting and if so what. I'm bringing something but I don't want it to be a repeat.

Also, Ed, I was thing of bringing soem hot chocolate mix and tea if you're willing to boil water again. Since there're probably be more people I can bring some mugs as well.

That literature website thing

I don't know if you guys remember this but we did talk about starting some kind of literature website a couple of months back. I got tired of waiting for the library to get back to me about hosting and I went ahead and used a new service provided by Google. They will register and host a domain for ten dollars a year. Not a bad deal. Here is what it looks like right now. This is by no means a final look, I was just messing with the service to see how it works. It's still in Beta mode and it isn't currently working with Mozilla Firefox and is barely working correctly with Microsoft Explorer. Hopefully they will iron that out before we get all serious. Maybe if we put our heads together we can have something together before school lets out.

Survey Monkey

For this project I am working on at work I had to create an Survey Monkey account. If you want to have a little fun try out my silly little survey so I can see how the results are gathered. Thanks.

Orhan Pamuk

Melanie sent me this: "A writer is someone who spends years patiently trying to discover the second being inside him, and the world that makes him who he is: when I speak of writing, what comes first to my mind is not a novel, a poem, or literary tradition, it is a person who shuts himself up in a room, sits down at a table, and alone, turns inward; amid its shadows, he builds a new world with words. This man – or this woman – may use a typewriter, profit from the ease of a computer, or write with a pen on paper, as I have done for 30 years. As he writes, he can drink tea or coffee, or smoke cigarettes. From time to time he may rise from his table to look out through the window at the children playing in the street, and, if he is lucky, at trees and a view, or he can gaze out at a black wall. He can write poems, plays, or novels, as I do. All these differences come after the crucial task of sitting down at the table and patiently turning inwards. To write is to turn this inward gaze into words, to study the world into which that person passes when he retires into himself, and to do so with patience, obstinacy, and joy. As I sit at my table, for days, months, years, slowly adding new words to the empty page, I feel as if I am creating a new world, as if I am bringing into being that other person inside me, in the same way someone might build a bridge or a dome, stone by stone. The stones we writers use are words. As we hold them in our hands, sensing the ways in which each of them is connected to the others, looking at them sometimes from afar, sometimes almost caressing them with our fingers and the tips of our pens, weighing them, moving them around, year in and year out, patiently and hopefully, we create new worlds."

SF anthologies in 2007

I bet you are sitting there wondering what SF and Fantasy anthologies are coming out in 2007 and just when exactly they are going to be released. Wonder no more.

Lists, lists, lists

If you enjoy end of the year best of lists then check out this website which posts a list of lists of many different categories.

Another site for the artists out there

I heard about this on NPR this morning. I had been to the site Threadless before but I had not realized the designs were user submitted. I might have to get me one or two of these.

SF website

I just found this website devoted to science fiction. According to his blog, David Brin helped start the website. I've taken a look at it and what I have seen so far has been interesting.

By the way, David Brin has a great blog and you might want to check it out. I think Matthew might find some of the discussions very interesting. His most recent post is a nice long musing on the future of artificial intelligence.

Test your geography skills

OK young'uns, lets see how good you are with the world's countries. On my first try I got a 38.

Art and commerce site

Those of you that draw check out this site called Open Studio. If you start an account and participate let me know your handle so I can sees your art. My handle is zzazazz but I can draw worth a darn.

Essentially this site uses fake currency called a Burak and you start with 25 Buraks and you create and buy and sell art. Sounds like a fun idea to me.

The all in one generator

Need a description of cat-girl? Need a name for a SF government? This generator has it all. Heck, it even generates random story ideas.

Most Cited

I don't know why I think you guys will find this interesting but I found this interesting. What are the most cited journals of the last ten years? Let's take a look.

Quote from an interview with Tom Waits

Pitchfork: Do you have a favorite sound?

Tom Waits: Bacon. In a frying pan. If you record the sound of bacon in a frying pan and play it back it sounds like the pops and cracks on an old 33 1/3 recording. Almost exactly like that. You could substitute it for that sound.

It's that time of the Year again

It's not even December and "best of" lists are starting to come out. The Guardian asks writers to name their favorite books and the New York Times lists their annual 100 Notable books.

A dog's life

A short comic about the life of a dog named Murphy.

Second Piece of Silliness

This is the other joint document we mashed up at our last meeting (at which we had hot green tea, by the way).

Once the sky ripped open
as I was walking to school.
Aliens abucted me and I just couldn't cope with them
so I killed them.
Then I walked in to the nearest building and screamed,
"Aliens are taking over the world!"
Only they were dead so I was lying.
I didn't see the three million aliens standing behind me
and naturally chaos ensued.
Then I heard a lound ring,
opened my eyes and, to my relief,
I was lying in bed.
That is, until I saw the aliens standing over me.
The aliens were holding smoking laser rifles
and were wearing matching kilts.
They whipped out bagpipes and started to sing/sling
me around until they bound me up and took me
aboard their ship and a million other aliens
all did the same thing.
They extracted all my knowledge of math from my brain
and English
and social studies
and science
and my life experience
and secrets
and random things
and all my knowledge of medieval torture devices
and all my knowledge of rocket science
and all my knowledge of faery lore
and the person died.
Until I awoke and refused to refer to myself in third person.

Guess what? This is the blog's 100th post! YAY!!!!! (Did you know that multiple exclamation points are a sign of a deranged mind?)

Alright. I havn't posted ina long while so here is the dialogue thing I wrote at the last meeting. It is, of course, brilliant.

*********

" Why are you so angry, Ed?"
" My tie is strangling me!"
"Why don't you take it off?"
" I have to look responsible! See! I'm crossing out all the swear words in my story. Gosh darn these darned ties!"
"Take it off Ed! (Ed. note: I just realized that taken out of context that could sound pretty bad.) Be free! You have nothing to lose but your chains!"
"You're right! This isn't a tie, it's one of those doggie choke collars, choking my freedom of expression!"
"Ow, my eye! Careful where you throw that thing!"
" Sorry."
"S'okay. Now that you're free what will you do?"
" Say whatever I want about those *bleep* *bleep* *bleeping* *bleepers*!"
" Ed! I'm shocked to hear such words coming out of your mouth! "
" But, but...I thought you said I was...free?"
"Just 'cause you're free doesn't mean you can do anything you want. You have to be responsible. Here, put this tie on."

*********

I would post the pictures too but, you see, my scanner broke. *Grumble, grumble*

Tonight's Meeting

We had 5 1/2 in attendance tonight. Matthew came in late so we can't count him fully. Things got a little wacky when we passed a couple of sheets of paper around again. I'll put one up now and another tomorrow.

Two Frogs walked into a bar. They walked because they did not have a car. When they came in they started to sing a song, except it turned out completely all wrong since Joe sang a C minor and Bob, D major. They didn't make a very good wager. So they had some pizza and orange juice and talked with a melancholy moose. Then they walked out, forgetting that they did not have a car, and died. A necromancer came along and he revived them. Then the frogs hopped away and walked into a bar. It was the same bar and there was blood on the floor, their blood. They slipped and impaled themselves on the moose's antlers, sending them both flying through the large window and over a cliff to an icy death. Then another frog came along to see both of the frogs floating up in the sky and the frogs hit the other frog and killed it. The three frogs lay there, stinking and attracting flies. The all of a sudden one started to wiggle, then another, then another! The three frogs got up and started to walk to another bar with the flies still flying all around them. Then they came across a moose wearing a toboggan. The flies from the frogs attacked the moose, started eating it alive. The moose screamed like a girl and ran off. The dead frogs laughed. They stole the moose's toboggan so it was cold as well as being eaten alive because the frogs were cruel having suffered death twice (is that even possible?). Anyway back to the story...As the frogs laughed hysterically, pieces of them began to fall off until they were only piles of stinking fly-attracting flesh that will never come back to life again. Or will they?

I'm just putting this out there so y'all can get used to it by the time I come back. My name is now Mitchell. It's not legal yet, as that would be a paperwork nightmare when combined with college and financial aid, but it will be legal as soon as possible.

So, yes. I will be changing my display name to reflect this. Just giving y'all a heads-up.

I just used the word 'y'all' twice (now three times), didn't I? Shame on me.

Meeting This Thursday

I already sent an email out earlier today but it never hurts to be repetitive when it comes to meetings. We are meeting this Thursday at 6 pm at Morrison Regional Library. I heard a rumor that Unkown Entities may show up this time. Is it true?

Also, to celebrate Thanksgiving, Clare is going to bring a dish of her special recipe, pumpkin yogurt. I can't wait.

Meg Rosoff's top 10 adult books for teenagers

Whenever I take a few minutes and try to find something worthy of posting here for the few that visit I always hope I can find something as perfect as this.

I was trying to think of an adult book or two I would add to this list. Maybe "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and "Ender's Game."

Mmm...indignant rage

What's my favorite thing about working with the public? Today it's the lady who sent the wrong 35 page print job to the printer and got pissed off at me because I wouldn't refund her money. The best part was while she was adding money to her printing account so she could attempt her printing again, her cell phone started ringing. She looked up from the cash machine for a moment and let the phone ring so I could see how angry she was. Good for her.

Poet Musician

There is a local songwriter named David Childers that I am very fond of and he has a webpage where he writes occasional diary entries and poetry. Right now he has a poem up. Give it a gander while it's still on the front page. Powerful stuff.

A new poll

This is a very serious poll and your answers will be utilized to improve the quality of this blog.



Nominate a book

A friend of mine is involved with a bunch of bloggers that have created their own yearly award for Young Adult books. If you are curious you can see it here.

Pulling off your own head

A serious discussion on this subject here.

What kind of a name is R.A?

I don't recall his name ever coming up at one of our meetings but R.A. Salvatore is coming to town and he has personally invited you to come see him speak:

An Evening with R. A. Salvatore
On Friday, November 17, New York Times best-selling author R.A. Salvatore comes to the Wachovia Playhouse at ImaginOn: the Joe & Joan Martin Center to promote the final adventure in his Sellswords Trilogy: Road of the Patriarch! FREE and open to readers of all ages! A book signing will follow the presentation and books will be available for purchase from Joseph-Beth Booksellers. The doors open at 6:30 pm and seating is limited to 250. Co-sponsored by Joseph-Beth Booksellers and the Public Library of Charlotte & Mecklenburg County
ImaginOn: The Joe & Joan Martin Center - The Wachovia Playhouse
11/17/2006 at 7pm
Age Range: All Ages
Contact: Kelly Czarnecki, 704-973-2717

Six Word Stories

Wired magazine just published a collection of six word stories written by contemporary science fiction and horror writers. There are some heavy weights in here.

Here's a couple:

Visiting team, home run. Silent crowd.
Hobbit, with no scarf, follows wizard. (OK, that's cheating)
Mountain bike, no control, a cliff.
I see you! Sorry wrong person.
Are these your children? Want them?

Shuttle liftoff pictures taken from outer space

These are the cooolest pictures I have seen in a while

Drawing lessons online

I am just full of information today. I took a gander at a couple of lessons here and they look legitimate. Take a gander at them and let me know what you think.

Stephen King Podcast

I haven't had a chance to hear this because I am at work but the Times has a podcast/interview with Stephen King. I can't remember if any of you guys like his writing but I am sure at least one person in our group has read a Stephen King book. I've read a couple. You can hear the podcast here.

Flash Fiction Contest

I've heard about this form of fiction recently and saw that a book store had a contest. The winners are posted here. I only read the first couple because the library is gettting ready to close. Give the winner a shot, it's really good.

Michael Swanwick

Any of you guys ever read any Michael Swanwick? He wrote a book that just blew me a way a few years ago called "The Iron Dragon's Daughter" that is an amazing urban fantasy. Here here comments on it:

"Q: Is The Iron Dragon's Daughter a Marxist fairy tale?

Well, it's certainly not a fairy tale – I was trying to deal with some serious matters in as straightforward and truthful a manner as I could. But as Kafka demonstrated, sometimes that involves turning a man into vermin or putting a sword in the hand of the Statue of Liberty. You could say that it's Marxist in the sense that I don't pretend that class differences don't exist. But it's not really informed by leftist sensibilities at all. It's more like a world in which everything has been turned inside out so that the essential mysteries of human consciousness are more obvious.

Q: What was the atmosphere you wanted to convey in the book?

I wanted to write a high fantasy but I'm allergic to horses, a mediocre archer, a worse fencer, and I was thirty-two when I first set foot in a castle. So my experiences left me woefully unqualified to go toe-to-toe with J.R.R. Tolkien or E.R. Eddison. But all that Medievalia is just settings and furniture, really, for the serious work those writers were doing. I replaced that stuff with factories and strip joints and mega-malls – places I know and understand – and this in turn made the world more convincing to me.

There's a kind of a bleak, lonesome beauty to a sunset seen from a factory parking lot. That's the kind of feeling I was going for – that the world is magical even if it's the one we're most familiar with. You can be incredibly unhappy and still feel that, still feel privileged to be alive."

Meeting This Week

I already sent out an email but I'll post it here also that we are having our monthly meeting this week, Thursday October 19th at 6 pm. I hope everyone can bring something to share.

Added physics software bonus

I double dare you not to play with this for half an hour.

Have any of you read anything by Chuck Palahniuk? If so, what did you think? If not, allow me to recommend EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER WRITTEN. Except possibly Haunted, because that's just creepy. Not that all of his writing isn't creepy, but. Basically this post is an excuse to foist my current obsession onto all of you. (He's the guy who wrote Fight Club, to give you some perspective.)

I would post things that I have written, but everything I'm writing lately is either essays for class or bandslash. And I really, really doubt any of you want to read either of those.

National Book awards

I didn't even know they had an award for Young People's Literature. They do and here's the list that came out in the last day or so. Have any of you young people read any of these books? I am in the middle of reading "The Looming Tower" which is one of the nominees for nonfiction. It's a book about the rise of al-Qaeda.

M.T. Anderson, The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation, Vol. 1: The
Pox Party (Candlewick Press)
Martine Leavitt, Keturah and Lord Death (Front Street Books/Boyds Mills Press)
Patricia McCormick, Sold (Hyperion Books for Children)
Nancy Werlin, The Rules of Survival (Dial/Penguin)
Gene Luen Yang, American Born Chinese (First Second/Holtzbrinck)

In response to Ed's desperate pleas, I shall post something. (Hey, all of us are in middle and high school, and you're living the luxurious life, remember that, Ed.) Hrrrm...because I have no good material right now, I'm going to use my Language Arts assignments!

First writing assignment: In summer...

In summer...I always visit my extended family in Missouri. Sometimes for a week, sometimes more. Each year, I grow more mature, so each trip is a definite eye-opener. I find ways to get along with my brother during the fourteen hour long car trip. I enjoy the mountains and other views, and gain more knowledge of wordly things; example, how to work a vending machine or just how long it takes to drive through Tennessee.

When we arrive at my aunt's house, I let the nostalgia sweep over me, as I am glad to be out of the cramped car. However, at my aunt's, not everything is perfect. An example of this was when I learned her cat, my favorite animal, had been put to sleep. Another painful time was when I visited my grandfather in his nursing home.

I savor quiet moments reading on a bed that's not my own, but I'm always ecstatic to visit my scarcely seen family. Each year, I learn a bit more about them all because I'm let in on more secrets since I'm getting older and because I'm I listen more attentively.

SIMILES AND METAPHORS
(feel free to steal one or two if you ever need one and are not feeling creative)

-My spoon was a catapult for the peas I flung at my sister.
-Our dog is a fierce warrior guarding its castle, our house.
-The hundred dollar bill was the door to my sucess.
-The embarrassing photo was a gag, not allowing Tom to tell anyone Jim's secret.

-The bird was chipper as a young child.
-The pillow was like a door to dreamland, enticing its owner to sleep.
-My puppy is like a kind smile, always cheering me up. (I do not actually have a puppy)
-Her long hair looked and felt as though it were silk.
-The clouds were like a cold, grey blanket over the sky.
-The car zoomed down the road like an odd sort of monster, emitting puffs of awful black breath.
-Grass that has grown tall will sway like waves in the sea when wind blows.
-The rain drops were like bullets as they shot from the clouds up above.

I will be posting more frequently once I start actually writing and editing all my beginning-of-the-school-year ideas. You know, the ones you come up with and elaborate on during the middle of math class...

Posting

Hey guys, any chance we can get a couple of you to post what you read to the group last time? I heard a couple of things I'd like to be able to read and digest.

Soft tissue from a t-rex

I don't want to turn this into a science blog but I found this story via David Brin's blog. It seems a dinosaur bone has supplied us with some soft tissue. Story and photographs here.

A new blog

I know at least one of you has expressed an interest in librarianship. Here is a blog by the staff of The Library Journal.

Another attempt to ban Harry Potter

This time it's a mother in Georgia.

Last night's meeting

The meeting went well. I had to step out for a few minutes to set some chairs up in our meeting room and those in attendance worked on a couple of group poems.

Unititled #1

I read a book I didn't enjoy
so I went to the store and bought a toy
but on my way back I saw a boy...
and jumped for joy
and said, "my, you're a pretty boy, aren't you?"
but he was ugly, so it wasn't true
but, feeling kind, I smiled and said, "You look blue."
A delightful grin crossed his his lips and he spoke,
"Why yes, I believe I am...
and I'm feeling a little green, too."
"You're green because you're hungry," I said,
"would you like some soup?"
"No," he replied with a gleam in his eye,
"I'm hungy for you!"

The smile never fading from my lips, "Well then, here I am for you."

Untitled #2

Straightening pictures, reading stories
writing books, laughing out loud
punching girls, punching boys
I love writers club.

Dancing to tones, singing to songs
goofing off, always off subject
alliteration and digression.

Locking ourselves in cupboards,
cubboards of inspiration
questinable inspiration
but joyful nonetheless.

Ah, the joyful wonders of insanity
because everyone here is insane
(there's no excuse)
except Ed
(although we doubt that at times).

Meeting this week

This is the monthly reminder that our monthly meeting is right around the corner. Don't forget we are meeting this Thursday at 6 pm. That will be Thursday, September 28th at six pm. I'll be there...will you?

Reading reading reading

I've been reading a collection of Harry Turtledove short stories called "Counting up, Counting down" for the last few days. My favorite story by far has been one called "After the last elf is dead." It's set in a world much like Middle Earth and it's a "what if" story. As in, what if the Dark Lord wins? Good fun.

We haven't discussed that too much on here. Anyone doing any fun reading that's not school work?

Photography Contest

By the way, gang, there's a free online photography conest sponsored by a friend of a friend that gives away actual prizes. It's called The Everyman Photo Contest and it is what it says it is. It is open to anyone that is not a professional photographer. I recommend giving it a shot. It really is a lot of fun and it's free and you get your photographs posted on a professionally designed webpage.

Martha Gellhorn

Have any of you guys ever heard of this lady? There's a biography that came out recently that I am going to read some day. Fascinating lady. Here's an excerpt from an interview with the woman that edited a recently published book of Gellhorn's letters. "People thought of her that way a lot, and it made her very, very angry. If someone had the temerity or foolishness to bring it up, she would just get up and leave the room. She used to say, "I was with him for eight years, and married for four. I've lived a lot of other lives." I was telling someone recently I've written about Martha Gellhorn, and it seemed to draw a blank. I said, 'She was a writer and a war correspondent.' Then, with huge reluctance, I said, 'She was also married to Ernest Hemingway,' and the person said, 'Ah, of course.' And I could just see Martha sending a rope down from above."

Q: What is it about a mouse's brain and the universe?

A: They are strangely similar. I thought you guys might get a kick out of that. I would think that picture would appeal to the writers, drawers and math whizzes.

"New" Tolkien

According to this story Christopher Tolkien has finished a work by his father and it's going to come out soon. I'm not too crazy about projects like this. Except for the Silmarillion I have avoided all the posthumous releases of Tolkien. In general, I am not a big fan of any writer finishing another writer's work or writing new stories in another's universe. Although when the main character's in Robert Heinlein's "Number of the Beast" briefly stayed Lewis Carroll's Wonderland I thought is was wonderful. A double standard? No, I think not, more of a homage. Anyone have an opinion on this?

Just thinking

This is my week for my evaluation here at work and every year we have to come up with goals. I thought that maybe, just maybe we could start some kind of a literary website that we would be the editors of. Mind you, this is in the very early just-thinking-about-it stage but I wanted to see what you guys thought of it. This would be even something our long distance members could join in with us. Is it an old idea that has run its course online? Would it be too much work? Shoot me some early thoughts on this.

Flight Delayed
You stole my heart
With one innocent Grand Gesture
Before disappearing
Into an infinite plane.

I've never used so many math terms
Until I had to make you understand.
Even now I must look them up,
Though the connections are clear.

Pi equals Pie equals Poe equals Darkness
Equals Me plus You equals Love.
The equation is simple.
Do you care/dare/swear to solve it?

Your plane has doubled back
And deposited you at the beginning;
But now I myself have travelled off
Without ever moving on.

I shall return
(And hope you do the same)
When desperation and cold winds chill the heart
And only the Holly and the Ivy are green.

Never mind the presents
With bows and hearts hung high;
You're the real reason
I'm counting the days to Christmas.



The events in this poem are purely hypothetical, and should not be taken to represent obsessions the author may or may not have.

ETA: I just realised what the title could be taken as, considering the date. I did not mean it that way, but if it adds meaning for you, go for it.

Howdy

The October meeting has been moved up a week. We are going to meet on Thursday, October 19th instead of the 26th. The board of elections is holding their early voting the following week and we can't meet in the room because they will have voting machines locked in there and that is top secret stuff and we're not allowed near it. We are doing the same thing in November since Thanksgiving falls on the fourth week of that month. Our meeting date in November is the 16th. September is unchanged. We will be meeting on the fourth Thursday as usual and that date is the 28th.

Crikey

One thing you can say about the passing of the Crocodile Hunter is that at least he died doing what he loved: harassing animals in the wild.

Kipling

I came across this poem in an article about Rudyard Kipling and his son who died during World War War I, the first "war to end all wars." Kipling wrote an amazing poem about his dead son a year later. The
article is here and the poem is below and in the article.

My Boy Jack (1916)

Have you news of my boy Jack?'
Not this tide.
'When d'you think that he'll come back?'
Not with this wind blowing, and this tide.

'Has any one else had word of him?'
Not this tide.
For what is sunk will hardly swim,
Not with this wind blowing, and this tide.

'Oh, dear, what comfort can I find?'
None this tide,
Nor any tide,
Except he did not shame his kind -
Not even with that wind blowing, and that tide.

Then hold your head up all the more,
This tide,
And every tide;
Because he was the son you bore,
And gave to that wind blowing and that tide!

From Last Night

At last night's meeting we did a fun exercise where we played with Roger Zelazny's Rule of Three. This rule states that when describing a character all you need to do is mention three things about the character at a time. This is enough information to give the reader an idea as to the nature of your character and leaves enough unsaid to allow the reader to use his imagination. One of the types of characters we desribed last night was a dark lord and/or dark lady. Here's mine: "He carried a sword as long as a lightning bolt, his steed could eat whole villages and he used his sinus cavities as a prison for his most dangerous enemies."

Anyone else want to contribute some of what they came up with last night?

Ursula Le Guin quote

From the book about the craft of writing called Steering the Craft: "Somebody asked Willie Nelson where he got his songs, and he said, 'the air's full of melodies, you just reach out...' The worlds full of stories, you just reach out."

OK, more of a Willie quote but I like the idea of Willie and Ursula collobarating even on this tenuously.

Meeeting tomorrow

I done sent an email out. Don't forget we are meeting tomorrow at 6 pm. Be there or be even more square.

Feeling Tired

Because of the flooding last night I didn't get a lot of sleep. OK, I'm exhausted. I wrote this in a few short sessions.

Being Tired

What did you say?
No, I am listening. Really.

It stormed and the dog couldn't sleep
he whined and wanted to play
with the cats. The cats don't like him.
He moves too fast and wants to play
all the time. Cats only play
when they decide.

When I turn my head too fast
I almost lose my balance.
I've heard lack of sleep
can cause brain damage.
I know a guy (no it's not me)
that is in a lot of trouble in the future.
He spent his thirties half asleep at work.

Occasionally when I speak I sound
unsober and confused
A quick shake and I'm out back
and lucid until it happens again.

The air conditioner sounds like
an engine room.
Outside
everything is hazy and in soft focus
What was I just doing?
How long have I been sitting here?
If turtles walked upright would
they waddle like real fat people?

A long time ago I had a good night's sleep
and it was good.

Fairty Tale Generator

They didn't have one of these when I was a kid.

Harry Potter Lexicon

Since we are on a Harry Potter kick (that's never happened) here is a website I saw in a friend's email. Maybe you guys are familiar with it already, maybe it's no good. I'll let you Harry Potter readers decide.

Article on a Harry Potter convention

This post is for Maggi.

Trade your old books

I just read about this on Metafilter. Looks interesting.

100 Best

Penguin Classics picks the 100 best books by categories in honor of Penguin's 60th anniversary. I have to confess I haven't read a majority of the books on this list.

I Long for some Pie

My cravings inside
will sure not subside
until you break down
and serve me some pie.

Apple, Blueberry,
Lemon Meringue.
Sweet or chocolatey,
or one with some tang.

I would not even mind
if you haven't a fork,
I would eat with my face,
and looklike a dork.

Now I sit down,
Math homework I eye,
Could I please have
some pie with my pi?
---

(From the 7/28 meeting.)

Yes, two pie poems in one night. What are we, milkandcookies.com? (Okay, inside joke, sorry.)

I love the rythmic nature of the first two lines of the second stanza. Reminds me of how my piano teacher used to teach young students to play triplets with words like "blueberry".

Forgive the horrible math joke at the end. I had to slip one in somewhere, didn't I?

N+7: An Odor to Maggi's Teflon

Although she appears as an innocent pogo stick,
Confront her and you will find a horrible period.
Concealed behind here furtive liposuction
are threatening weasels poised to strike.
It is what keeps me awake at nine,
Beware of Maggi's Teflon.

Gnawing, gnashing, grinding, piercing,
Ripping, tearing, slashing, shredding,
Her sharp, pointed whiz
is like metal daiquiries gleaming bright.
It is what scares the chili dogs away.
Beware of Maggi's Teflon.

Under gothic drills and gleaming smock
lie feral ragtops and cunning guilt.
Do not irk her with lofty arses,
lest she consume you in bloody vipers.
It is what keeps us awake at nine,
Beware of Maggi's Teflon.
---

(From the 7/28 meeting)

For this poem, I took the original Ode to Maggi's Teeth, and replaced every significant noun with the noun in the dictionary seven nouns away (or the closest one to that which was reasonably understandable). The result was this quirky, Mad Libs-esque poem.

However, by fate, it worked out to be "threatening weasels poised to strike", I don't know. It's just perfect.

A poem that I have written. Please don't ask what inspired it, you won't get an answer. Just tell me if it's TOO confusing. I'm thinking of making a story with the people in this poem though, because they've been dancing around in my head for a while. For anyone who catches this before tomorrow's meeting, please critique!
------------------


Perfect contrast, perfect pair

One with brown, one with blonde hair.

They’ve always been the best of friends,

Always side by side, ‘til the end.

One’s the Earth, one’s the air,

Perfect contrast, perfect pair.

One needed saving, one’s the savior,

One takes away the horrors of a war.

One of dark chocolate, one of white,

Both so sweet, but only one in the light.

Like the most beautiful nightmare,

Perfect contrast, perfect pair.

Just for fun I decided to mess around with a silly story. Here is part 1.345

The Birthday Wish



Randy was four going on five when his parents had the Birthday Wish talk with him. His parents sat him down at the dinner table on a Sunday a few days before his birthday. They had their backs to the kitchen, Randy had his back to the front door of their house. They talked to him very seriously, almost like he was a grown up. He listened.
"Randy," His Mother said, "This Wednsday you will turn 5 and on Saturday we are having your birthday party."

"Yeah," Said Randy. He'd known this for a few weeks.

"Grandpa and Grandma Johnson will be here." He knew that too. "Grandpa and Grandma Simpson will be here." Also old news. "All of your cousins will be here and both my brothers and your Dad's sister and brother."

Randy had no response to such old news.

"Randy," Mother continued, "Aren't you a little curious about all these people coming to your birthday party? Don't you want to know why?"

"I know why."

"Why?"

"Because it's my birthday."

"Well, yes. But you know about your fifth birthday right?"

"Yeah, I get to make a wish this time."

Randy didn't know what his mother was getting at. All he knew was that this year he was going to be allowed to make a wish when he blew out the candles on his cake. It's all he'd been thinking about for weeks now. He and a couple of other kids at school with birthdays close to his had been counting this day down together. It seemed really important, like the first time you were allowed to take the dog outside by yourself or going more than two days without wetting the bed.

"It's a special wish, Randy." His Mom said.

"I know because it might come true. I mean, that's what I've heard at school. Is it true?"

"If you do it right you wish may come true."

"Yes, Randy. We wouldn't tell you a fib about something as serious as a birthday wish."

"What can I wish for?"

His Father continued, "Well, anything at all, I guess. But it's best to keep it simple the first time."

"Uh huh."

"As you get older you might work on something more complictated but this Saturday I would keep it very simple."

"Why?"

"Well, it's your first time and the more simple the wish the better chance it will be granted."

"OK, keep it simple."

"Right."

His parents let him go outside after the discussion trailed off. Randy bounded down the steps that led to the garage and went on the other side of the garage where he couldn't be seen from the house. The garage was connected to the house by a breezeway and with the garage between him and the house he had as much privacy as he could wish for. The house was surrounded by woods so if his parents couldn't see him, no one could. He grabbed a stick and started absentmindedly hitting things. He hit the side of garage, a couple of nearby trees bordering the turn around on the side of the building, the barrell the family used to burn garbage and he picked up a couple of rocks and tossed them to himself and wacked the ones he didn't miss into the woods.

What should he wish for, he wondered. Another dog? Where was his dog? He must be inside. If he was outside with me he'd be chasing those rocks I just hit in the woods. How about an X-Station 920 Turbo? Does the wish include games? It has to. Mine will. That's it then, easy choice: an X-Station 920 Turbo...with four controllers and five games. That seems fair. Four controllers might be too much. OK, two controllers. That will allow me and dad to play baseball and it won't be asking for a whole lot. Mom and Dad can get me the controllers since they won't have to buy the game system. He hit a few more rocks into the woods before his mom called him in for Sunday dinner.

Workshop this! I'm not sure if I really like this poem. But nobody else has posted anything and this is the first rhyming poem I've written in forever. And the whole purpose of workshopping is to make the writing better. So here ya go.

Mother dear, where are you?
Gone so many years,
The laughter has come back to me,
But then, so have the tears.

Mother dear, I'm so confused,
You were my guiding hand.
Now it is so hard to thrive,
In this increasingly darkening land.

Mother dear, I need you here,
I still cry in bed at night.
It all happened so suddenly,
You went quickly into the light.

Mother dear, come back, I plead,
I know it is in vain.
We've lost you now forever,
You'll never come back again.

I've edited it a bit but it still feels a bit too angsty instead of communicating the feeling of loss, need, and acceptence I was trying for. I started writing it (and you can see the influence in the third stanza) after rereading "Do Not Go Quickly Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas. Only I said she went into the light and in his poem he says to "rage, rage against the dying of the light."

What makes a classic a classic?

Just saw this and I thought it was a nice short article about what is required to make a piece of literature a classic.

I don't know about you but I always thought a piece of literature qualified as classic if it held up over time. I see they mention that in this article. I've always wondered what SF classics might become plain-ole classics over time. If I had to pick one it would probably be "A Canticle for Leibowitz" by Walter M. Miller. It's got a sense of wonder, it's funny and thoughtful.

More adjustimication of schedule and work shopping

OK, how does the third Thursday of November sound? Novemember 16th it will be.

If you would like anything workshopped I would post it here by Monday night so the rest of us can have time to read it closely and make notes before our meeting on Thursday.

Adjustify your calendars

In November we are going to meet on the fifth Thursday of the month because the fourth Thursday is Thanksgiving. Since I am so good at scheduling I forgot that the fourth Thursday of November has been Thanksgiving since 1942.

Well, I was going to post this, but Matthew beat me to it.

As I'm going to Asheville for college in the fall, this meeting is also going to be my last for quite some time. I should be able to come to the November and December meetings, but after that, nothing until next summer.

See, now it looks like I'm trying to one-up Matthew, when that wasn't at all my intention. I'm just letting you know.

Sad News

As you all know, I'm going off to school at NCSSM this year. I leave on August 19th, so this makes the next meeting my last for quite a while. Of course, I'll still be in touch via the blog and e-mail, and will still be spending plenty of weekends in Charlotte.

Assuming that all writer's club meetings take place on the fourth Thursdays of each month, I should be able to make the December and January meetings (albeit about a half hour late to the January meeting). Of course, the dates of the meetings change, so it is likely that I will be able to attend more.

On a lighter note, I will officially be taking a class on short story writing, which should either improve my writing dramatically, or drive me completely insane. Either should be fun.

Okay, to update those that are curious about The Mediocres. The update for Monday is drawn and the next three strips are scripted. It really will update on Monday. There will also be a big explanation/apology in the comments that you must read. Otherwise you may be very confused in the coming weeks.

Also, in a few minutes I'm going to post a couple poems I wrote, specifically for the purpose of the workshopping/criticizing/whatever thingy that we are planning for next meeting. No one else has stepped up to the plate so...here I go. The quality of these poems is questionable.

One more thing. What happened to the new girls from the last meeting? Were they planning on joining the blog? Have they abandoned us like all the others? I feel so alone... *sob*

I'm at ImaginOn right now, and I've just seen Meghan. I've specifically provided her with the date of the next meeting, so if she's not there we have an excuse to mock her.

Alan Poindexter just walked by. I have to go be a fanboy.

Where is it?

All right, where's that new Mediocres? What's the hold up? Why the slow down? What is the reason for this absence? Does anyone know why there hasn't been a new Mediocres in, like, a year. As George Bush once said, bring it on.

Just a thought

You know, if you have a three year old maybe you shouldn't bring him to the adult section of the library. Especially if you aren't going to keep an eye on him or his four-year-old brother. I hate when this happens because she's probably a single mom and she's here by herself and I'm sure she doesn't get a chance to check her email that often but free range three year old's just don't belong among old men reading the paper.