Another poem

I'll post what I read at our last meeting for the benefit of those who did not appear.

Ohio Sunset

A campground
in the middle of a corn field.
My world is blue from light
coming through the tent.
Collected dew runs down
my arm with a touch.

The campground is coming to life.

A fat man is chopping kindling,
his rhythm like a giant sloth woodpecker,
power lines that cut through the grounds
crackle like a million bees moving at light speed,
a locomotive whistles under the horizon,
songbirds everywhere.

The children in the next lot stayed up late.
They are stirring, exploring
while their parents sleep off their Busch beer.
The kids are dirty, laughing, squealing
in different stages of dress.

I watch the unwashed munchkins
walk down to the pond.
They chase a small gaggle of ducks
while laughing and laughing and laughing
until their hungover father tells them
to shut their traps.

Just a thought

I make no bones to being a poet with anything but average talent but we was talking about revising once and I have revised this thing at least a dozen times. I even changed a few words as I was transcribing it just now. I can't stress revising enough, it's what turns a good idea into a great poem or story.

One more thing

If you are posting a poem here try and transcribe it rather than cutting and pasting it. I think as you type it in you will find words you want to add and subtract and line breaks you will want to change.